Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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