hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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