I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize