I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
