Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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