The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
