i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
