come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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