Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I touched a dick in church today
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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