guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
