I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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