What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just googled if crying burns calories
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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