Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
