Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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