Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
where does the pee come out of this thing
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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