No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize