she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
