she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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