dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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