I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
