lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
