Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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