Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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