Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
