I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
