The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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