I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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