theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
