whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
