Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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