True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
