Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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