Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
