Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
