He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
