He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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