Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
