she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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