Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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