I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's shark week go big or go home
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
