did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
