i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
