He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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