Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
