a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
