There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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