OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
