forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
