i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
