I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
