I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
