no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
