My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
