So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
