take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
