whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
