I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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