I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I enjoy the company of your penis
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
