were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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