Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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