i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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