I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
