I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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