everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
